Information for Parents and Community

There is so much information on the Internet about abuse.  It’s overwhelming.  Who has time to sift through all of the vast volumes of information?  What has been missing is a simple list of data and direction, which are comprehensive solutions to protect our children.  Speaking Out Safely offers a short list with links; in the case you would like deeper information.

This first section is the basics that parents and community members need to know about how to prevent child sexual abuse.  This is a step-by-step process to empower you with background knowledge before you enter conversations to empower your child.  This information is for adults only and we strongly recommend that you not share this with children as it may unnecessarily frighten them.

Note: we will be adding links with deeper information in the near future.

  1. Get everyone on the same page: The first recommendation we have for you is to strongly recommend that EVERYONE that comes into contact with your children review this basic training.  The more people that know the basics – the safer your child will be.  Share this page or invite your family and friends to our Facebook page.
  2. Know the typical sexual behaviors of children:  All human beings are sexual and many human beings are uncomfortable with sexuality.  This is the first challenge we need to face as parents.  Click on the age of your child and you can review development in several areas including: physical, cognitive, emotional, sexually and what families need to do to raise sexually healthy children.  Find worksheets listed by child age: 0-3 years.  4-5 years.  6-8 years.  9-12 years.  13-17 years.  18+ years.
  3. Understand problematic sexual behaviors of children: Exploration and play are a natural part of a child’s sexual development.  Some behaviors indicate more than harmless curiosity.  Read this document that identifies potentially harmful behaviors and how to begin dealing with those situations.  Some sexual behaviors tend to persist even after a child is told to stop.
  4. Grooming – what it is, how it works: Child sexual abusers are devious.  Grooming is a process that happens over a period of time, sometimes short, sometimes longer, to draw a victim into a secret sexually abusive relationship.  Grooming is designed to separate the victim from their community, which provides an opening for the perpetrator to offer a special kind of love to the victim.  Below are some valuable articles to review.
    The 6 Stages of Abuse, Oprah
    Grooming Children for Sexual Molestation
    The Grooming Process: How Abusers Groom Children
  5. Sex offender testimonials: Its important to understand how manipulative sexual abusers are.  The best way to understand is to read about how they think, the articles below, shed some light on how perpetrations choose victims and keep them silent.
    The mind of a child molester, Psychology Today
    Inside the mind of a sex offender
    Inside the mind of a sex offender: What you need to know about child molesters
  6. Statistics about who abuses: 1 in 5 children are sexually abused before the age of 18.  Who abuses: Family members 39%, Acquaintances 56%, Strangers 5%.  Less than 10% of incidences of child sexual abuse are reported.  70% of perpetrators abuse between 1-9 victims, 20% of perpetrators abuse between 10-40 victims, 10% of perpetrators abuse 40+ victims, and the average pedophile has 280 offences against 150 victims.
  7. Key indicators of behavior to be concerned about: These two documents tell you everything you need …
    Information about sex offenders
    Common characteristics of sex offenders
  8. Gaslighting and other behaviors that keep abusers abusing: After perpetration happens, the “game” for abusers to keep the abuse a secret and minimize the self esteem of any and everyone around the child being perpetrated upon.
    10 signs your man is ‘Gas lighting’ you to make you seem crazy
    A message to women from a man: you are not crazy
    Sex offenders often minimize behavior
  9. Set expectations with everyone in your life: You are going to want to tell everyone in your circle that you know all about sexual abuse, how to identify perpetrators and that your child never keeps secrets.  Sex offenders state on a regular basis that they perpetrate on easy targets: single parent families, children with low self esteem, children with existing behavioral issues, and children who haven’t had basic body training.

While we are building are programs to use prevention to create a new and safer world we need you. We need your support, we need your donations and most of all we need your awareness. Be vigilant and attentive and most of all be vocal. If you have any concerns we are here, e-mail us.